Hi everyone, and welcome to this hastily conceived blog.Before we get started, here’s a little bit about this blog and EasterBunnyDude. (Yeah, I know it’s a weird name, but I’m trying to do this quickly and it’s the best I could do on short notice.)
EasterBunnyDude is a resident of Walnut Creek, Calif., who discovered a few weeks ago that the city has banned all things Easter. No Easter Bunny. No Easter Egg Hunt. But we do have a Spring Bunny and a Spring Egg Hunt. Kind of like Whoville, without those whacky dwarfs. We live in the shadow of Mt. Diablo, named after the devil himself, which may explain a few things.
In the Easter Bunny vernacular, I was hopping mad. After my initial shock wore off, I scrawled a letter to the editor of the local paper, giving the needle to those harebrains who would give the Bunny the boot. And that was that. Or so I thought. Interest in this story increased like, well, rabbits procreating on Viagra.
Within hours, the phone started ringing. First the San Francisco Chronicle, then a couple of Bay Area TV stations caught wind of the story. People in nearby cities called to share their thoughts. The Chronicle story appeared on other newspapers’ Web sites. Then Fox News, where EasterBunnyDude learned about makeup. (Shaky-cam video and offscreen cackle courtesy of EasterBunnyDude’s daughter.) And more local radio, including KSFO. Satellite radio, too. All from one letter to the editor in the local paper.
I never planned for this kind of response, nor did I expect it. I’m not from the radical right, nor do I have any religious or political agenda. I’m just one guy who got tired of seeing traditions diluted and city officials cave to just one person — one person — who complained five years ago.
So while interest is hot, I started this blog to chronicle the Don’t-Call-it-the-Easter-Bunny saga. I don’t know where it’ll go or where it’ll end. We’ll just have to let the Easter Bunny run his course and hope that the Walnut Creek city officials come to their senses and see the light. Let them know what you think. I’ll keep you updated. In the meantime,
hare’s here’s the story of Easter, Walnut Creek style.
Easter Bunny’s Tale
This is the story of the
Easter Spring Bunny. And if you’re a good little boy or girl, and live near Walnut Creek, Calif., you can have breakfast with the Easter Spring Bunny and even take part in the bunny’s Easter Spring Egg Hunt. Don’t you just love hunting for Spring Eggs? They’re much more colorful than those drab Fall Eggs.
You see, Walnut Creek isn’t like all those other cities that invite the Easter Bunny to town. He’s just a little too controversial. We invite the Spring Bunny
(because he’s a B-list celebrity, works cheaper and is in far less demand), and keep that nasty Easter Bunny from endangering our parks and harming our children. But that’s a good thing, because that gives the EasterBunny time to attend other events, like the White House Easter Egg Roll, run by people who aren’t as enlightened as those of us in Walnut Creek.
And if you like that, boys and girls, you’ll love
Christmas the holidays. You see, Christmas the word that many use to describe that big holiday in December is a bad word in Walnut Creek, too. It’s tied to religion and that’s a bad thing. So every Christmas holiday season, we decorate a big tree downtown and call it the Christmas Holiday Tree. We put it up next to a very large Menorah, which is a symbol of Hanukkah for the Jewish faith. The two look very nice together, and allow people of different faiths to celebrate their traditions. But for some reason, Christmas that traditional word is a bad religious word, and Menorah isn’t. I suppose that’s because no one thinks that we should call the Menorah it the Holiday Candelabra. And they’re right. We’ll just stick it to Christmas, that commonly used word for now, anyway. Kind of like the Grinch.
So boys and girls, if you’re tired of traditional celebrations that welcome everyone, Walnut Creek is a great place to live.
Easter and Christmas Common names for holidays don’t exist here, and I hear we’re working on St. Patrick’s and St. Valentine’s Day those saintly offensive days in February and March, too. Word is that they’ll be replaced by Drink-Green-Beer-til-you-Drop Day and Give-Your-Sweetie-a-Rose-or-Else Day. And we’ll all live blandly ever after.